Brene Brown and the word vulnerability is everywhere right now. I drop her name and teachings like it is a common household name. In my conversations, I realized not everyone understands what being vulnerable really means. So, I am going to give it my best shot in my own words. It is important first for you to know how I feel about Brene Brown...
Hello my name is Kimberly and I am addicted to the teachings of Brene Brown. Ha! Who am I kidding.....I am addicted to Brene Brown the person. I want to be her bff. How amazing would it be to have a friend that you can let down your guard and just be yourself with?
Did you catch that? Don't we all wish we could be ourselves with everyone? Unfortunately, we have those friends, partners, coworkers or fellow moms at school that we feel we have to put up a persona with. My love affair with Brene started years ago (before Oprah.) I like to think I discovered her.... lol Anyway, I was deep in my chaotic life. I was married, working full time, my son was in school and I was volunteering as much as possible at my sons school. Brene tells a story about the judgement she felt from other moms and it hit me hard. Listening to her teachings shined light on how ridiculous I was being. From her teachings I realized I did not have to be all things to all people and I was not the only mom who was unraveling at the seams. It was like I finally had permission to let my flaws be exposed, I was struggling keeping everything together and it felt so good to be honest! I started reaching out to other moms for help and I admitted my marriage was in trouble. As I was more vulnerable, it gave permission to those around me to be more vulnerable. I was shocked at what others shared with me about what seemed to be a picture perfect life.
As my life progressed and drastically changed. Brene helped me discover how much I craved to have whole hearted relationships. As you start to live from a vulnerable place your heart opens up in a way it never has before. You want more connected relationships. I desired a deep relationship based on trust and support. I wanted to be accepted for being myself, flaws and all.
When I think of living vulnerable the word transparent always comes to mind. When I started practicing vulnerability I felt transparent. It was like I removed all my labels and filters I lived by before. The hardest person to be vulnerable with was myself. It meant I called myself out on my crap. I did not let myself live or react from the shallow place I used to call home.
To practice her teachings in your life there are few things to consider. When you start to live from a vulnerable place practice with the people in your life you know you can trust with your heart and ego. I have some advice if you are going to use these teachings with your partner. When being vulnerable in relationships you have to hold space for the other person to be open and vulnerable with no judgement. You also must be willing to be vulnerable with no expectations. This means do not get made at your partner for not reacting the way you want them to. Everyone is on their own path and some people take a little longer to come around. I suggest getting getting her first book and reading it with your partner.
Living this way takes a lot of courage. It can be fearful and bring up a lot of trust issues. I have to say no pain no gain.... following the teachings of living vulnerable and whole hearted has elevated all of my relationships and given me the courage to start the career of my dreams.
If you are new to Brene, check her out of TED Talks and youtube then purchase her books.